You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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