i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
