She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
