actually, I'm a sock model
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
