Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
