So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
