Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
