He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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