Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
vagina is talking i cant
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize