If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
