Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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