she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
