you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she told me i tasted like america
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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