She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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