This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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