I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
