I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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