he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
