dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
