Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
