My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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