I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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