I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
