I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
