Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
