u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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