its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
