All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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