Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
