Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
tell me about the fingering
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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