the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
