dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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