im holly from the hills drunk
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize