i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
