I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
