Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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