I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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