I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
