Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
