"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
