Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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