Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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