all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
