but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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