Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
