woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
