Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
