Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
