Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
