Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize