It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
