I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
