3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
