My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize