I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
