Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
