I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
