Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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