I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
