I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
