I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
