ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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