how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
