kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This house was built for laser tag.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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